A Winter Together - Sequel to Weekends Together
by lettersfromlorena
Summary: More vignettes following Maura and Jane's developing relationship. It's winter in Boston. They are approaching their second anniversary. We learn more about Maura's past and the challenges it may bring for Jane. Some chapters will contain adult content.
1. Chapter 1

AN: Winter is here and with it a new story line. We learn more about Maura's past and the challenges it brings for Jane.

A Winter Together Chapter 1

Sequel to Weekends Together

Jane hurried up the snowy steps of the Opera House, ducking her head from the wind. She'd finally found a parking spot in the garage on Boylston Street. Maura had suggested she take the T or she could have a car pick her up but Jane figured she'd just swing by the house after work, change her clothes and drive the short distance from Beacon Hill to the Opera House. She had no idea that the area would be packed on a freezing, wintry November night.

Shrugging out of her Burberry she stuffed her gloves and scarf in the sleeve and handed it to the attendant, sticking the ticket in her jacket pocket. Her hand felt another stub in her pocket. She pulled it out to see what it was as she climbed the stairs to the main entrance hall.

It was from the last time she had worn her tux, to a fundraiser Maura hosted last spring. Maura would kill her if she found out she had not dropped the tux off at the cleaners like she was suppose to. The ushers stood at the doors, which were closed. Jane could just barely hear the orchestra playing.

"You'll have to wait for the intermission to be seated Ma'am."

Jane stared balefully. He could not have been more than 18 years old standing at attention in his usher's uniform.

"Great," she murmured. Maura was going to be annoyed. She had asked Jane specifically over a month ago if she thought she could clear her calendar for this date. It was the final weekend of Swan Lake at the Opera House before the Nutcracker season started for the holidays. The Isles Foundation was able to partner with several other philanthropic groups in Boston to arrange a star- studded evening that would raise millions for their organizations.

Jane looked at her watch as she roamed the lobby waiting for intermission. She had a legitimate excuse for being late but she knew Maura would still be peeved. She rarely asked Jane to commit to attending one of her social functions, which Jane greatly appreciated.

But when she did it was clearly expected that she would be there. On time.

Wait staff were beginning to fill the lobby and suddenly people started pouring down the steps from the theatre looking for champagne and h'orderves.

Jane hung out near a wall at the back of the hall where she had a clear view of the stairs hoping to catch a glimpse of Maura; trying to gauge how irritated she might be with her. The initial throng had started to thin out on the stairs as the noisy crowd took advantage of the free drinks and food. Jane continued to scan the room.

"Excuse me, Jane? Jane Rizzoli?"

Jane turned toward the voice. At first glance, Jane did not recognize the woman speaking to her. A blonde woman of medium height, about her age, blue eyes, stood next to her in a stunning black gown. She was holding 2 flutes of champagne.

"Sarah Langton. We met down the Cape late in the summer at the Museum?"

Jane's eyebrows shot up. "Right! Sarah! Eliot and Richard went to school with Maura." Sarah offered her a glass. Jane took it and sipped. Wondering what in the hell she was going to talk about. Where the hell was Maura? She glanced around the room again, taking a bigger sip.

"I saw Maura earlier this evening but I didn't get a chance to speak with you. I love your tux by the way. Armani?" Smiling, she brushed the back of her fingers down Jane's arm holding the champagne.

Jane swallowed. "Ah, Saint Laurent?" Jane hoped she was right. It was the one Maura had pulled out of her dress closet and hung for her before leaving this morning, along with the silk shirt, socks and shoes that went with it. Along with her Chesterfield coat.

Sarah's hand stayed on Jane's arm for a few moments.

"Isn't this fabulous? What a fantastic performance this evening. The first two acts were phenomenal!" Sarah leaned in closer to Jane, lowering her voice, "You don't always get the star performers at these fundraisers late in the show's run but I think the guest list has brought out not just the stars but their best performance." She linked her arm with Jane's.

"I was really hoping to get in touch with you and Maura once we were all back from the summer holiday. To get together for a 'girls night out', just us girls," she murmured softly, looking into Jane's eyes.

Jane had to tip her head down closer to hear her.

"I left a few messages for Maura at her office but I guess we just haven't had an open date that worked." She was standing too close to Jane.

Jane looked up again. Scanning the room desperately until finally a dark emerald silk floor length dress caught her eye. She stretched up on her toes to see over people's heads and saw that it was in fact Doctor Isles. Staring at her and Sarah.

Jane's breath caught in her chest as she watched the diminutive blonde standing in a crowd holding a flute and chatting. Her diamond necklace sparkled at her neck. The off the shoulder V-neck dress was the perfect shade for her pale skin and light hair. She stood out amongst the black tuxedos and evening dresses of the people surrounding her.

"Excuse me Sarah, but I see Maura over there. It was great to run into you again. I'm sure if you keep trying Maura's office you'll be able to work something out." She took a deep breath and began to make her way over. She dropped her empty glass and grabbed another flute of champagne from a tray going by. Hopefully the intermission wouldn't last much longer.

Maura was smiling, looking up at the man who was speaking as Jane approached. He was tall, about 6'2", lanky, with a receding hairline and thin, wire-rimmed glasses. He smiled as he spoke, uneven teeth showing when he laughed. His tux looked worn and a little large on him as if he had recently lost weight.

Jane angled her way up to Maura's side.

"Jane!" Maura's smile did not reach her eyes. "There you are!"

Uh-oh. Defcon three with annoyed Maura.

"Maura." Jane said with a nod, not sure if she should kiss her cheek.

That moment was quickly gone as Maura turned back to introduce the man she was speaking with. Holding her glass with one hand, the other hand bent at her waist.

"This is Peter Coates. His daughter Denise and I have worked together on fundraising campaigns and Peter is a good friend of my parents. Peter, this is Jane."

Jane shook Peter's hand. "Nice to meet you sir."

"Hello Jane. Maura has just been telling me about Boston and how happy she is living here." Peter had a strong British accent. "I'm so glad she is able to pursue her career in a place where she is so obviously doing well and has made a name for herself."

"Yes, ah, she is definitely the best at what she does…not just for the Boston police Department but for the entire state."

"Well I know my daughter Denise has missed her terribly. She doesn't miss an opportunity to come to the states whenever possible hoping to get caught up with her." Peter smiled warmly at Maura.

"Is your daughter in the medical field as well?"

Peter laughed. "Denise is a business woman. Well, I guess you could say she was a businesswoman. She is mostly in the business of giving money away these days." His face blushed with pride. "Ah, here she is now. I know she has been looking forward to meeting you; Maura has talked so much about you. Hello darling!" Peter leaned down to kiss his daughter on the cheek.

"You must be Jane!" she said shaking hands. Her accent was just as thick as her father's. She was almost the same height as Maura, a little taller, very slight, pale skin with short dark hair and pale blue-gray eyes. Her perfectly tailored velvet tux with satin lapels was sharp. Her emerald blouse…matched Maura's dress perfectly.

"Pleasure to meet you," smiled Jane.

"I've been wondering when we would finally get a chance to meet. Maura has spoken of you often, as has Constance."

"Well, here we are!" Jane smiled and looked at Maura. Who was looking at Denise.

The lights dimmed twice signally the end of the intermission and the start of the second act.

"Maura, promise we can all meet for a drink afterwards. I know you have official duties here as the host but perhaps we can get together afterwards? If not tonight, I'm in town until Sunday afternoon."

"I'm sure we can find time, perhaps a late lunch tomorrow afternoon?"

Maura held her elbow out for Denise and they started for the stairs.

Peter smiled and held his elbow out for Jane. "Shall we go in, then?"

"Yes, let's." Jane's jaw was clenched.

Jane sat next to Maura, Denise and her father were seated several rows in front of them. Maura had yet to speak to Jane.

Leaning over as the lights dimmed, Jane whispered. "I am so sorry I'm late, Maura."

Maura turned and looked at Jane. Then looked back at the stage.

"Come on Maur," Jane tried again.

"Sssh, the show is starting." Maura hushed her as the music began.

Jane looked at her in disbelief. Turning to look at the dancers coming on stage Jane slumped in her seat with a huff.

The crowd continued cheering, stomping and whistling as each of the primary dancers came forward for their armload of flowers and solo bow. Hard to believe it was an opera and not a sporting event. Apparently it had been a truly magnificent performance all around. Jane stood and clapped, stealing a look at Maura every now and then. Her face was glowing as she clapped. People seated around her were leaning over to congratulate her on a wonderful performance and turn out for the gala.

Eventually the full lights came up and people began to move to the aisles. Jane waited for Maura to finish shaking hands and talking with people as she made her way to the aisle. As she stepped in front of Jane she finally made eye contact with her. Jane reached out a hand.

"Do you want me to wait, or should I head out and meet you at home later?" Maura looked up sharply.

"You're leaving. All ready?"

'No, no, I just…wasn't sure if you wanted me to stay, if you have business, fundraising stuff to take care of. If you wanted to meet Denise for a drink?

Maura stopped in the aisle to look up at her. People flowed around them. Jane looked around the room.

"Jane. I asked you here tonight not as my guest. But as my…my partner. To escort me. To be by my side. This is one of the most important nights of the year for the Foundation. Jane finally looked at her to see her eyes were beginning to fill, her face filled with sadness.

"No, no, Maura. I'm here. I'm staying. I just don't know what…I'm supposed to…do. What I'm…" She shook her head.

"What do you need me to do? What can I do to help?"

"Maura!" Denise slid her arm under Maura's. "That was fantastic! You must be thrilled with the Ballet Company! That was truly one of their best performances! You and the Board must be ecstatic!" She leaned her head in close to Maura's whispering, "I'm sure this will open up the pocketbooks even more for your event. "I'm so happy for you and the Foundation!"

"Thank you Denise!" she said still looking at Jane. Turning to her friend she smiled taking her arm. "And I'm sure we can count on you to help make this our most successful event of the year. Jane and I were just heading down to meet with some of our special guests, which of course includes you and your father. Shall we head down?"

Maura offered her other arm to Jane.

Jane looked at the two women. Smiling tightly, she took Maura's elbow and led her up the aisle to the exit.

She stood by Maura's side in a room off of the main lobby for the next hour and a half meeting people, smiling, sipping a glass of now warm champagne, terrified she would say something to make her look even more foolish than she felt. She could feel the sweat running down her back. Her feet were killing her in her heels, which were not very high, but still. She didn't know how Maura did it, standing all night in her 'Laboutins' or whatever they were.

There was still a lot of energy in the room. People were going on about the ballet. Connections were being made, Money was being made, and currency was changing hands. Jane could sense the power surrounding the men and women in the room. There was a constant flow of people vying for Maura's attention.

"You look like you could use a real drink." Jane turned to see Peter at her side. He patted his jacket pocket and winked.

"Excuse me Maura, he said. "Would you mind awfully if I stole Jane away for a bit? We'll be right outside, back in a flash, I promise!"

Maura smiled and nodded, then turned back to the husband and wife she had been talking with.

"Come on, let's get some air." Peter led her out of the room through a side door and she found herself in a huge hall, empty but for a few of the wait staff and caterers packing up glassware and equipment. There were huge floor to ceiling windows on one side looking out over the city. Peter and Jane walked down the hallway until they were alone. Peter pulled out his flask, unscrewed the top and offered it to Jane.

"Twenty six year old scotch. Aged in Oak Bourbon casks. You'll of course want to sip it," he chuckled.

Jane nodded, tipping the burnished silver flask, scratched with a few dents, toward him, "Cheers." It felt like warm buttery sugar in her mouth. "Amazing!" she gasped after she finally swallowed. She handed back the flask. "I'm not a scotch drinker but that is amazing!"

Peter laughed and took a sip. He held it in his mouth, back of his hand against his lips, eyes twinkling. Swallowing, he handed it back to Jane. "Take your time, lass. It's meant to be savored over several hours by a fireplace with your feet up and your best hunting dog at your feet."

Jane giggled looking around. "I'll have to look around for that dog."

She sighed through her next sip. Licking her lips. She passed the flask. Sitting on the edge of the windowsill, she gave her feet a break.

"So, are you an artist? Is that how you know Constance? The Isles?

Peter sat next to her, his long legs reaching out past hers. He shook his head. "No. I'm in business as well. I am the chairman of our family's, well, Denise's company. She's the one who built it into what it is now. She actually bought me out years ago. We met Constance and Maura in the South of France about six years ago, now I think. Before she moved back to Boston. We were there looking for a villa for a family retreat and Maura was visiting her parents next door. There were cocktails, a dinner. The girls hit it off right away. I was surprised; they seemed like such opposites. Denise can be, a little rough around the edges." He laughed. "And Maura, well, she's delightful isn't she? Constance as well. Down to earth. We found we have people, acquaintances in common from the, uh, shall we say 'philanthropists club'."

Jane nodded. "Did they go to school together? Boarding school?"

"Boarding school? Denise? No." He chuckled. "She barely finished high school. She was working full time in the shop by then. But then she went back to school, business school, got her accounting degree, didn't she. She has a flair for numbers, our girl. That and hard work." He took a mouthful, handed it to Jane.

"Wasn't long after she bought me out. Kept me on as chairman of the new company. Her brothers work there as well. Keeps everything in the family. She runs a tight ship. Easy to see she would be successful."

"What is it you do then? What shop is it?" asked Jane with a curious look. She swallowed slowly.

"You don't know? Maura hasn't told you?"

"No. She's never mentioned you or Denise before tonight." Jane looked him in the eye, handing him the flask.

Peter looked back at her. His face thoughtful. "Denise is founder and CEO of the largest on line betting service in the world. She was on the cover of Forbes last spring. She's the newest billionaire to join the club." He handed her back the flask.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Previously in our story: _"What is it you do then? What shop is it?" asked Jane with a curious look. She swallowed slowly._

"_You don't know? Maura hasn't told you?"_

"_No. She's never mentioned you or Denise before tonight." Jane looked him in the eye, handing him the flask._

_Peter looked back at her. His face thoughtful. "Denise is founder and CEO of the largest on line betting service in the world. She was on the cover of Forbes last spring. She's the newest billionaire to join the club." He handed her back the flask._

A Winter Together Chapter 2

Jane stared at Peter, eyes wide, jaw dropped. He chuckled as he leaned back.

"Right, I guess you didn't know."

Jane took a swig, then another. Eyes squeezed tight she swallowed. She felt like the floor was falling away under her feet. Pieces clicked together in her head. Peter telling her that Denise 'doesn't miss an opportunity to come to the States whenever possible hoping to get caught up with her'. Her stomach lurched as she swallowed again. She shook her head, felt her chest tighten.

Abruptly standing up, she handed Peter the flask.

"I think we better head back. Must be close to wrapping up." She glanced at her watch. It was after midnight.

Standing up Peter pocketed the flask, a look of concern on his face.

"Is everything alright?"

"Fine. Maura is probably wondering where we are, if we got lost."

He held the door open for her. "It was a pleasure finally meeting you Jane. We don't often get over here and I know Maura hasn't been back to see her parent's for several years but I hope we will be seeing each other again."

"Thanks Mr. Coates. It was great to meet you, too. Give my regards to Constance when you see her."

"I will. And it's Peter, please." He smiled warmly as he shook her hand.

The room had emptied out for the most part. Maura was still talking with a few people. She looked around to see if Denise was still there as she moved across the floor toward Maura.

"Jane?" Sarah Langton's brushed her arm. "There you are! You have been like a ghost this evening. Appearing, disappearing." She leaned over with a giggle, purring next to Jane's ear. "Not really your kind of night out, I imagine."

Jane saw Maura's head turn to stare at them.

"Hey Sarah. I was just out getting some air. Looks like things are wrapping up." Smiling brightly she glanced purposely at her watch.

Glancing around the room she looked for Sarah's husband Eliot. There was no one in the room except for the two of them and the people with Maura.

"Well, good night Sarah. Nice to see you again." She headed toward Maura but Sarah edged in front of her, stopping her with a hand on her arm.

"What a fabulous evening, I'm sure Maura must be thrilled! Doesn't she look breathtaking in that gown? She really carried the room tonight."

Jane looked directly at Sarah as she picked her hand off of her arm. Taking it in both of her hands she patted it and smiled.

"Yes, she is in her element. But I think Cinderella's ready to call it a night. If you'll excuse me?" Jane tried to step around her.

"Hello Sarah. How wonderful to see you again. I didn't realize you and Eliot were here this evening. I'm sorry I haven't had the chance to speak with you earlier." Maura was suddenly standing right behind Jane.

"Hello Maura! I was just telling Jane what a fabulous night it's been. You must be so pleased! She put her hands on Maura's bare shoulders reaching in to air kiss both cheeks. "And your gown! Simply breath taking!" she gushed. Her fingers lingered as they trailed down Maura's arms.

"Is Eliot here? I 'd like to thank him for coming as well."

"Oh, no. You know Eliot. This is not his kind of thing. I'm here with Richard tonight. Last I saw of him he was being cornered by Barbara Hostetter, something about joining the board of the Gardner. The Museum? I think I saw them leaving together."

"Please tell him we're sorry we missed him." She slid her hand under Jane's elbow. "Shall we head out as well, darling? Can we drop you somewhere Sarah?"

"No, thank you. I have a car waiting for me." She smirked as she bent down toward Maura. You know how unreliable Richard can be. How we both can be," she giggled. "Never sure who we're going to be going home with at the end of the evening."

Maura's smile froze. "Yes, well, goodnight Sarah. And thank you again for supporting the Foundation this evening." She began to walk Jane toward the door. Sarah wrapped her hand around Jane's other arm above the elbow and walked with them.

"I've had a wonderful time tonight. Please, let's try to get together soon. Jane and I were arranging a girls' night out. Just the three of us!" Jane felt Sarah's fingers brush up and down her arm against her breast. She pulled up turning toward Sarah pulling up her arm away sharply but Maura jumped in first.

"Jane, could you go and get my wrap for me? I called for the car to be brought around. I'll meet you out by the front."

Jane nodded and then looked at Sarah, her jaw clenched. She headed off for the coatroom. She wanted to hear what Maura was saying to Sarah to put her in her place but more than anything she just wanted to get the hell out of there. She felt stunned. Torn between feeling bad about being late, about Sarah hitting on her but totally blindsided that Maura had never mentioned this Denise.

She felt nauseous. Her head was spinning. She knew she had really disappointed Maura by being late. She hated screwing up when Maura asked so little of her. But then there was this Denise. Few people knew Maura and her family were part of the really elite, really wealthy set in the world and you would never know unless Maura chose to disclose this fact. She never flaunted her lifestyle.

Maura would constantly reassure Jane that she could care less about the differences in their financial circumstances. Her wealth was simply a vehicle for her to improve the world around her. Except for these occasional fundraisers and a few other noteworthy social events, she spent her time with Jane and her family and their friends from the BPD.

How could she have not mentioned she not only knew but also was friends with a billionaire? What was up with her never mentioning this Denise?

Jane heard Peter's voice over and over again in her head. "Denise never missing a chance to come to the States to catch up with her'. It sounded like they were more than just 'friends'. How long had this been going on? Jesus, what else was did she not know?

Jane tersely tipped the coat attendant, grabbed their coats and headed for the door. Maura was by the front door shaking hands with the last few people to leave. Sarah was nowhere in sight. Jane hoped there would not be an early morning call from dispatch for a body discovered in the Opera House. She put her coat on but stayed back, waiting for Maura to finish talking.

When Maura was ready, she held her wrap open for her.

"Thank you. The car is here, out front." Maura carefully walked down the stairs in her heels. A few snowflakes were falling around them; it was too cold to really snow.

Jane put her hand under her elbow to help steady her as they walked to the car. The driver held the door open for them to slide into the back of the town car.

Silence. The car pulled away from the curb and into the now empty street.

The tension was palpable. Jane rolled her shoulders, looking out her window. Crossing her arms and legs as if to protect her self. The car was not big enough for both Annoyed Maura and Jealous Jane.

Jane did not know what to do. The longer the silence went on, the more she felt…dominated. It felt like Maura was playing a head game with her. This was way out of her league. She did not know how to do this. She could handle yelling and arguing. She could not handle silent Maura. Her chest felt like it was going to explode. She didn't want to make it worse. She wished she could start the night over again. She took a deep breath, hung her head.

"Maura, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I was late. I know you're disappointed. I feel terrible. I'm sorry I ruined the evening."

"You didn't ruin the evening, Jane." Maura's quiet voice had no inflection. It felt like a dismissal. Conversation over. Like Jane didn't matter enough to be able to ruin her evening.

"What the fuck?" Jane hissed. She slid around on the seat turning completely toward Maura. _This _she could do.

"I said I was sorry. _I know I screwed up_!" she said much more loudly than she meant to.

"What more can I say to convince you? I had no idea what my role was to be here tonight. I didn't know this was any different from your other fundraisers where I just 'tag along' while you do your thing. Along with a few other things I didn't know. Like about your friend Denise." Her voice was low, dangerous, words bitten off.

"Denise?" Maura looked at her incredulously. "What does Denise have to do with this?"

"Are you kidding? You just happen to forget to tell me you're friends with a billionaire who travels to the States _as often as she can_ because '_she misses you_'!" Peter told me how well you two hit it off in France. Is this just some_ fling_ you pick up on whenever you two can get together? How long has that been going on?"

"_What_?" Maura whispered incredulously, shaking her head, eyes searching Jane's face. "How can you...?" She reached over to find Jane's hand. Jane kept them tucked across her chest. Seething. Her head felt like it was on fire.

"Jane, where is this coming from? Denise and I have not seen each other in three years. The last time we even spoke was over a year ago. A conference call for her charity she was establishing in Great Britain. Yes, we are friends. She's been a good friend in a world of people who merely use you for your name and access to your donor lists."

Jane looked out her window. "Her father made it sound like you were a lot more than_ just_ friends."

Maura sighed, frustrated, looking away for a moment.

"When we first met, in France, Denise and her family had just jumped into a world they had no experience with, no idea how to navigate. Her company had just broken through worldwide. Skyrocketed, unexpectedly. It gave her family immediate, enormous wealth they were not prepared for. They are very humble, hardworking people, not unlike your self. We connected because I admired how she had created this from scratch. Built it from the bottom up. I think we respected each other's work ethic and lack of pretense. A shared reluctance to be a part of what comes with that world of wealth." Maura reached again for Jane's hand, pulling her arm away from her chest.

"We are not involved in an intimate relationship Jane. We never have been. I think Peter appreciates that Denise has someone she can rely on to be honest with her. And my parents have helped them as well. I enjoy their company when we do spend time together."

Jane sagged down into the seat. She felt like an ass, an immature, bratty ass. She looked out her window at the softly falling snow. The car pulled forward when the light turned green. They rode the rest of the way home in silence.

After taking off her coat and slipping out of her heels, Maura immediately went upstairs to the bedroom to hang her gown and return her necklace and earrings to the safe. She stepped into the shower to wash away the spray from her hair and make up from her face. She adjusted the multiple showerheads for maximum massage. She was exhausted. Her feet were sore, her shoulders tight and her lower back hurt from maintaining her perfect posture all night. She wanted to cry in frustration. How had things gone so wrong tonight?

Jane was in the living room, in the dark. A bottle of beer sat on the table in front of her. Her head back on the couch, eyes shut, she tried to block out the overwhelming sadness. Wishing the night had never happened. From disappointing Maura to calling into question her commitment to their relationship and questioning her integrity. Jane sighed. She knew it was the money. It was always the money. It put her on edge, calling out all her insecurities about herself and their relationship. No matter how hard she tried to believe they could make a life together, deep down her biggest fear was that Maura would eventually return to the world of the rich and famous.

It was her problem. She knew this. They had argued, discussed, and beaten the issue to death. There was nothing more Maura could say, could promise, nothing more she could do to convince Jane to believe in her, in them. Jane needed to have faith. To trust that Maura was who she said she was. And Jane had lost that faith in a matter of seconds.

She rubbed her hands over her face and through her hair. She was so tired. She couldn't believe how easily she had lost that faith. How quickly she could just believe that Maura was having an affair.

She drained the beer, leaving the bottle on the table. Head back, feet up on the table she felt the tears coming. Frustrated at feeling so weak and disappointed in her self for not being stronger. She pulled a pillow into her arms crushing it to her chest. She was the problem.

Maura finished towel drying her hair. She hung the towel and pulled her robe on over her nightgown, tying it around her waist. She finished applying her moisturizer, brushed her hair and went into the bedroom to pull down the bed covers. She sat on the edge of the bed for a moment and thought about the evening. Shaking her head she stood up to take off her robe and then got into bed. She reached over and turned off the light. Laying in the dark wondering what she could do.

She and Jane had had serious disagreements in the past. They had fought; had even spent some time apart. But this felt different. She thought about how deeply disappointed she had been when Jane was not there to take her to the Opera House. She felt her throat tighten and tried to swallow. She rubbed her hand across her chest to calm her breathing. She needed to figure this out. Why had it felt like such a betrayal? Jane was often late or had to cancel at the last minute due to her job. Why did tonight feel different?

Maura rolled over onto her side and pulled Jane's pillow into her arms. She thought about Sarah Langton. She knew Jane would never stray. She had let Sarah know in no uncertain terms that there would be no girls' night out. Neither she nor Jane was interested in pursuing anything but a social relationship with any of the Langtons.

But why did Jane still not trust Maura? Why had her friendship with Denise pushed her over the edge tonight? Maura replayed the evening in her mind. She couldn't figure out what had been the tipping point.

She started back at the beginning. The day she asked Jane to hold the date and try to clear her schedule so she could attend the fundraiser with her. She remembered how excited she was about hosting this particular philanthropic event. Excited about the opportunity to significantly grow the Foundations resources. She had been looking forward to meeting potential new donors and connecting with old friends. She had enjoyed working with the other Board members to make this one of the most notable social events before the New Year. She was thrilled when Denise had personally emailed to say she and her father would be able to attend.

But she was most excited that Jane would be escorting her. They would be hosting this as partners. The first since they had become lovers.

Maura sat up in bed. She knew what was wrong.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Thanks SO much for taking the time to read and comment. Seems like this episode has struck a nerve. Your reflections have influenced the next chapter in the story.

Winters Together Chapter 3

Maura pulled on her robe and slippers. She flipped on the hallway light as she went down the stairs. She looked first into the kitchen, then into the living room. The house was silent, the hallway light casting just a few shadows around the room. She couldn't see Jane but she saw the beer bottle on the table. Walking around the couch, she found her curled up on her side facing the back of the couch, her arms wrapped around a pillow. She had taken off her tux jacket and silk shirt. Her shoes were in the middle of the floor, her bra on the coffee table. She had put on a tee shirt but still had on her tux pants. Kneeling down, she gently ran her fingers across Jane's shoulders.

"Jane?" she whispered. "Are you awake? Jane? I'm sorry. Please come up to bed. We can talk about this in the morning." Maura realized that Jane was probably hurting both emotionally and physically. The brief stint she had done on a psych rotation as well as her own therapy sessions had taught her how difficult it could be when people were struggling with core issues. And this was a core issue for Jane. Her fear that Maura belonged with someone with more wealth; she would never be good enough for her. That Maura would eventually leave her.

"Sweetheart, please. I am so sorry about tonight. This was all my fault." She continued to rub her back and shoulders.

Jane rolled over onto her back, her arm covering her face.

"Please come up to bed, Jane. Don't sleep down here on the couch. Please?" Maura reached over to hold her hand that was still clutching the pillow.

Jane took a deep, shaky breath. Maura could feel her chest and shoulders trembling. She rubbed her hand and arm.

"I'm the problem, Maura. I wasn't there for you when I said I would be. I totally jumped to conclusions about Denise. I can't seem to keep from getting possessive and protective around those people. I didn't trust you. I'm sorry." Her voice broke as she rolled back over on her side. "I can't do this."

"What can't you do, honey? What can't you do?" Maura rubbed her back. She reached over to put an arm around her, hugging her. Nestling her head in her hair. "Talk to me Jane."

"I'm so tired, Maura. I just want to go to sleep and wake up like this never happened. It shouldn't be this hard. You should be with someone who can handle that part of your life."

Maur could hear her voice breaking. Knew she was close to sobbing.

"Come here, honey." She wrapped her arm tighter around Jane's shoulders. "Listen to me. I need to tell you something. Can I please explain? I should have said this when I first asked you to come with me to the gala tonight." Maura shook her head as if in disbelief that she did not tell Jane.

"I don't know why I didn't tell you. When I asked you to come with me to this fundraiser, when I asked you to save the date I thought you knew. I was _so _excited. I was so looking forward to going. I thought..." her voice cracked.

On her knees, her arm enfolding Jane she rocked them gently, heads pressed together. She blinked back tears. This was one of her core issues, perhaps her biggest. It explained why she was so angry with Jane being late. Maura squeezed her tighter, pressing her lips to her temple.

"I was so excited Jane because for the first time I would not be alone." Maura's voice was thick. "I have always felt so alone at these events. Even if I had a date, even when you would so generously come with me as my friend, I was always there alone. Always alone." Maura sat back, gently rolling Jane back toward her. She brushed her dark tangled hair away from her face.

"Tonight, I was going with you. Not as my friend. You are not just my friend now, Jane. You are my life partner. I am so proud to be with you, Jane. You are the most important thing in my life. To finally be able to share that with others, the world…" her voice trailed off.

"I should have told you this when I asked you to come with me. I should have explained. This was my fault Jane."

Jane opened her eyes. She looked at Maura.

"I can't…" Jane's voice was hoarse. She swallowed. "I'm not a part of that world Maur. I'm not one of them. I never will be one of them."

Maura shook her head vehemently. "You're right Jane, you are so much more. You are a part of me, the best part of me. You make me whole." She ran her hands down Jane's arm to hold her hand. She searched Jane's face looking for understanding.

"I'm not a part of that world either Jane but for once in my life I feel like I'm part of something…something so…wonderful." She laid her hand across Jane's cheek, her thumb brushing away her tears. "Do you know why this meant so much to me? Why having you there with me tonight was so important?" She turned Jane's face toward her, looking into her eyes.

"Because you chose me. You chose me, Jane." She couldn't stop her own tears now. "Do you know how happy that makes me? She leaned over softly pressing her lips to Jane's cheek, brushing her hair back.

"When you were late, and I didn't hear from you, when I had to leave by myself I _was_ disappointed. When you called to say you were going to be late I wanted to send the car but you said no. That's when I thought you weren't going to come at all. I was so hurt. All the old feelings of having to be front and center by myself came flooding back." Her voice broke as she tried to hold back a sob.

"I know if I had just told you how important this night was to me you would have done everything in your power to be there. I should have told you, Jane. I am so sorry. I'm sorry for the way I behaved tonight. I'm the one who didn't trust you." Maura reached up with her sleeve to wipe her face, the tears soaking her nightgown and robe.

"I always had this fantasy…that one day I would go to an event and I wouldn't be the odd one out. I wouldn't have to rely on an escort, or a friend. Someone…would want me…someone who I loved." She lowered her forehead to Jane's chest, sobbing. Jane slid her arm down over her shoulders, rubbing her back.

"I'm so sorry Maur," she whispered. "I do know how much these events mean to you. I _wanted _to be there with you. I knew when I was running late that you would be annoyed." Jane lifted up and pulled a pillow under her head.

"I didn't realize how special tonight was going to be for you, but that doesn't matter. I still should have been there for you." She rubbed a hand over her face, brushing her hair away, wiping her nose.

"But even if I had been there Maur, I'm not like those people. I can't give you the things someone like Denise can. I can't talk about the things they talk about, I'm not an art expert or a museum member, I haven't traveled much and I don't do the symphony unless it's with you."

Maura lifted her head up. "Jane, don't you see? I don't want them." She got up off her knees and sat on the edge of the couch. She took Jane's hands in hers and brought them to her lips, kissing them and then holding them to her cheek for a moment.

"I've had those relationships. I've been in that world and it's not what I want. It's not real. I didn't stay in that life. You are the one that I want, Jane. Because of who you are. Because, of all the people you could be with, you chose me, Jane. With all my quirky habits and insecurities." She sat up closer on the couch.

"Jane, _you_ are what made tonight special for me. And I should have told you that. And I'm sorry for just walking away from you when we got home. I should have at least explained why I was angry. I'm so ashamed, Jane."

Jane exhaled slowly. She was exhausted. She didn't see how talking anymore tonight was going to make either of them feel any better.

"Maur, we both messed up. I appreciate your coming down here and explaining things. And I could have done a better job of apologizing. I wish I could be stronger and handle my shit around those people. I wish I could go to those things and be the person you need me to be but I can't. I just lose it."

"But Jane, I only need you to be you. You don't have to become someone else for me when we socialize. That's what I'm trying to explain."

Jane started to roll over to stand up. "Yeah, I hear you. I just don't know if I can be me in those situations without getting all protective and possessive. It never ends well." She stood next to Maura, pulling her into a hug. "Can we get some sleep and maybe things will feel better in the morning?"

Maura wrapped her arms tightly around Jane's waist nuzzling her face along her chest. "Can you forgive me Jane, for tonight?"

"There's nothing to forgive, Maur." She slipped her hands down to find Maura's hand and started toward the stairs. "I'll get the doors and windows. I'll meet you upstairs, ok?"

Maura tried to smile. "Ok, honey." She headed upstairs to the bedroom, stopping to use the bathroom. Her face was a mess, skin blotchy, her eyes puffy and red from crying. She brushed her hair and put it up. It had dried in a tangle of curls after her shower. She blew her nose and took a Tylenol with some water. She brought two Tylenol and a glass of water in to leave on Jane's night table.

Pulling the covers down, she slipped off her slippers and robe. Her nightgown was still wet so she pulled it over her head to drop in the laundry. Pulling on a fresh, dry one; she got into bed turning off her light but leaving Jane's on. She sat up in bed; worried that Jane was taking so long. She knew this conversation wasn't over but they were both exhausted. It was after 2 a.m. She was glad they had tomorrow off from work.

Jane came into the bedroom carrying her shoes, tux jacket and silk shirt. Her pants were unbuckled and only zipped part way from using the bathroom. She hung her jacket and shirt and dropped her shoes on the floor outside the closet. She knew Maura would want her to clean and shine them before putting them away. She remembered to empty the pockets of her jacket this time. It would need to go to the cleaners, too.

She pulled off her pants and hung them on their special tux hanger. She tossed her bra in the laundry and went over to sit on her side of the bed. She saw the Tylenol and water.

"Thanks," she said as she swallowed them. She finished the water and left the glass on its coaster on the table. Swinging her legs into bed, she pulled up the duvet and turned the light off.

"Are we ok? For tonight, Jane?" Maura asked quietly in the dark.

Jane reached an arm over to pull her into her side. Brushing her other hand over her hair and face.

"Yeah. We're good." She stared up at the ceiling. Wishing she could believe it was true.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Love how fierce people feel about these characters. A shout out to Sean Maguire (Robin Williams), Susan Silverman and another well-known fictional North Shore mental health practitioner in this chapter. Patience dear readers, good times on the horizon.

A Winter Together Chapter 4

The weak afternoon sunlight was already fading by 4 o'clock, the sky pink and shades of gray through the window. There were two lamps lit in the small office holding off the darkness. Jane picked up her coffee mug to have something to do. She noticed the books crammed into the shelves behind the desk were in no apparent order. Not by height, not by title. The desk was bare except for a calendar, a phone, a couple of pencils and a spiral notebook. There was a preacher's bench with a thick cushion by the window. An empty ashtray sat on the windowsill next to another coffee mug. A single framed certificate hung on the wall. Dr. Sean D. Dix.

Across from her was a well-used leather club chair; she could see where someone's elbows had rubbed the leather a darker color on the armrests.

Jane looked up as the man plopped into the chair setting down his coffee cup, a pencil and a folder on the small table between them. He was about Jane's height, looked to be in his early 70's with thinning gray hair cut short, a salt and pepper scruffy beard and a tanned, deeply lined face pierced by ice blue eyes. His gray sweatshirt had a washed out H on the chest with along with Crimson Athletics. The pockets of his khakis pants were worn.

Jane looked around the room. She was here on the recommendation of her BPD counselor. The one she usually saw when recovering from job related injuries and traumatic events like the shooting of Paddy Doyle, her kidnapping, Hoyt, Maura's attempted murder by the Rockmond.

It had been a rough week after the Opera House fundraiser. Jane and Maura had spent the next day mostly napping, talking quietly, the football game on in the background during dinner. Jane had gone to bed early. She was asleep when Maura came up later.

The ride to work Monday morning was quiet. Jane felt a heavy sense of sadness she couldn't explain. She was called in the next night on a case. The week got busier for both of them. Maura had tried one night to initiate making love but after a few minutes, Jane had put her hand over Maura's as she stroked her neck and breasts.

"Would it be ok if we didn't tonight? I'm really tired."

Maura lifted her head and shoulders up, propped on her elbows.

She sought Jane's eyes in the dark. "Honey, its always ok if you don't want to." She reached up to kiss Jane's cheek. "Can I hold you?"

"Yeah, that's fine, Maur. Just had a long day today. Have to be in early tomorrow." Jane turned away and rolled onto her side, tucking her hands under her pillow. Maura snuggled up behind her. Rubbing her back gently.

"Are you ok, Jane? You've been really quiet all week."

"Yeah. Just been focused on this case. I'm looking forward to the weekend."

Maura wrapped an arm around her middle and tucked her knees against Jane's. "Ok. Good night, hon." It was a long time before she fell asleep.

Jane knew she had to fix this. She left earlier than usual the next morning. Her first stop was the HR suite at headquarters. She waited outside the therapist's office for her to arrive. They walked into her office together. Jane came out 15 minutes later with a small white card in her hand. She had an appointment with a private psychologist in Marblehead for Friday afternoon.

"What would you like to talk about Jane?" Dix sat back in the chair, legs crossed, hands folded in his lap.

"I heard you worked with police officers. Detectives. About personal issues." Jane forced the words out a few at a time.

Dix nodded. "I do."

"You were a cop."

"I was."

Jane nodded. Looking around the room. She wasn't sure how she felt about talking about her relationship with Maura with anyone, especially a guy. She thought about apologizing for taking his time and leaving.

"Why don't we start with some basic background information, Jane? What can you tell me about yourself?"

Jane looked down at the faded Oriental rug under their feet. It was especially worn in front of her chair. As if many people had sat there scuffling their feet. Like she was doing right now. Trying to get comfortable. She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. She told her story. She described her job at BPD. Clipped words, short sentences.

"I read about your Hoyt case." Dix picked up his mug and took a sip.

Jane looked over his shoulder at the bookshelf.

"Are you married Jane? Divorced?"

Her eyes snapped back to his face. "I live…I live with my partner. She works for the…medical examiners office."

Dix nodded. "Any children?"

Jane stared. "What?"

"Do you and your partner have children? Or do you have children from a previous relationship?"

"No. No, we don't have any kids. I don't have any." She looked away, could feel her face getting warm, blushing.

"How about family? Do you and your partner have family in the area?

Jane explained about her brothers, her mother living in the guesthouse. Her parent's divorce, her father moving to Florida. Maura's family was living, well, all over the world at any given time. She did not go into Paddy and Hope.

"Ok. What would you like to talk about?"

"I'm trying to figure out…I'm not sure how…" She exhaled forcefully, clearing her throat. Looked out the window. "I love Maura."

Dix waited. When Jane didn't continue he asked, "Is she your partner?"

"What? Yes!" She looked at the doctor, eyebrow up. She saw a look of confusion flash across his face.

"Is that a problem for you. Or for her?" he asked.

Jane ran her fingers across her forehead, above her eye. She could feel a headache coming. She pulled her upper lip down with her teeth. Pushed her tongue around her cheek.

"I think I'm stuck. I love her. I want to be with her. I can't imagine not having her in my life. I can't imaging being with anyone else." She swallowed. Took a deep breath. Exhaled slowly.

"But…I feel like…because we are so different…that this can't work." She gasped the last few words out.

"How long have you been together?"

"We've been friends for about 5 years. We've been together for the past 2 years."

"How long have you been living together?"

"About three years. We…ah…spent a lot of time together even when we were just friends."

"How's your sex life?" He looked over the top of his coffee mug.

Jane stared at him, feeling her face getting warm again.

"Mind blowing." She deadpanned.

Dix burst out laughing. Jane felt a smile tugging at her lips. She felt her shoulders drop slightly, a slight lessening of the tension in her body.

"Would Maura agree with your assessment?" His eyes twinkled.

Jane crossed her arms in front of her chest. Crossed her legs. She felt her cheek twitching.

"Yes."

"So what makes you think this can't work Jane? It sounds like you know each other pretty well. You are friends; you've been living with each other. You're happy with your intimate relationship."

Jane' eyes searched his face. Looking for an answer. Looking for the words that always seemed to escape her whenever she thought she was getting close to figuring this stuff out.

"We…I…get stuck. I feel like...I'm afraid that I'm not going to be…enough. We come from such different backgrounds. I'm a blue-collar working class cop from Southie. She's a brilliant doctor who has traveled the world. She knows everything, she's wealthy, and she's beautiful, she could be with anyone. I can't give her what all those other people can give her. I…sometimes I think…I don't…deserve her. I'm afraid she's going to wake up one day and realize her mistake. That no matter how many times she tells me she loves me, I'm afraid she's going to leave." Jane sagged back into her chair; head back, biting back the tears.

"Do you want to end the relationship Jane?"

She slowly picked up her head. "No. I can't. I can't but I can't keep disappointing her. I can't keep letting my fear and my insecurities hurt her."

Dix tilted his head slightly, watching the emotions play across her face.

"Tell me about your other feelings for Maura. When you aren't afraid."

Jane looked around the room. "She makes my chest ache." Jane looked down at her hands. "I don't think I've ever felt this connected to anyone before. Looking back I think my life was on hold until I met Maura. Really got to know her. I don't think I have ever really been in love before. Not like this. The physical part…of the relationship…that came much later. I had never…been with a woman before. It took me awhile to let go of the labels and stop worrying about what others thought. Let myself enjoy being with her. Being in love."

Dix nodded, smiling. "That sounds like a wonderful place to be Jane. Tell me more about what attracted you. What was it that made you feel such a connection?"

Jane blinked a few times. She looked around the room. "She's Maura. She's wonderful, polite, caring. Everyone liked her when she started working at BPD. Even though she's kind of odd, quirky. She can talk for hours about the most random things. She knows everything about everything, and gets so much pleasure out of learning new things. I think we initially connected because we are women in a traditionally male field. We both enjoy working hard, getting the job done. Getting it done right. We both have a strong sense of justice. Service. She isn't really into sports but she's learned every possible stat about the Red Sox, Patriots, Bruins and Celtics. She got play off tickets for my brothers and me to go to a game. She didn't have a close relationship with her family growing up and although I sometimes wish my family wasn't so involved with my life she loves being a part of the family now. I think my mother actually prefers her," Jane laughed.

"She's the daughter my mother wishes I had been. Into fashion, make-up, never curses, loves to cook, nice to everyone. For crissake, she let my mother move into her guesthouse when my Dad left. Before we even started living together."

Dix smiled and nodded, encouraging her to continue.

Jane shrugged. "I want to protect her. She's beautiful, incredibly attractive, but a little naïve maybe, around people. Some of the people at BPD can be rough, crude. She didn't have a lot of friends, a support system. She's use to being on her own. But she's incredibly dedicated to the friends she has."

"Does that include you, Jane?"

She looked up at him with a frown. "Yeah."

"So you've known about Maura's background. Her lifestyle. Has it been a problem from the beginning?"

"She's not the problem. I'm the problem. She's never given me a reason to doubt her. It took me so long to accept that she had the same feelings for me. To let her in. She's been so patient. She hung in there and never gave up. I'm the one waiting for the other shoe to drop."

"Can I ask what prompted you to make an appointment now? Did something happen?"

Jane explained what happened last weekend at the ballet. How she had disappointed Maura. How Maura had tried to take all the responsibility for the miscommunication. How people like Denise threatened her sense of security with Maura. They triggered her jealousy and fear that she would lose Maura. She described her feelings of sadness during the week and her need to figure out how to stop being an ass.

Dix was quiet for a few moments, waiting to see if Jane had anything else to put on the table. He cleared his throat.

"So, what I hear you saying is you're in love with a brilliant person who loves you despite your being an ass. You have mind blowing sex, she's rich, beautiful, loves your family, they love her. She has a great job. Let's you drink beer and watch all the ball games you want, even watches the game with you? And all she asks for is for you to love her. Be with her." He sat back in his chair. Put his fingertips together in front of his face, thumbs brushing his lips, watching Jane's eyes grow wider, her mouth drop open.

"What the fuck, Rizzoli? Seriously?"

Jane's face was burning up. Her jaw clenched. Arms folded tight across her chest, slouched back in the chair. Looking anywhere but at Dix.

Slowly, a grin started to spread across her face. She sat up, wiping her hands across her face, brushing her hair back.

"So, what are you thinking? I'm terminally stupid? Is there a pill for this? They both laughed.

Dix rolled his wrist over glancing at his watch. "Here's where I tell you our time is up and we'll need to schedule weekly appointments for the next two years to try and figure this out."

"Like that's gonna happen," she laughed.

"I got a call from Dr. Silverman when you made the appointment. She told me she had seen you several times at BPD and thought you could use some clarity. She recommended me because she knows I don't like to see patients. I don't need the money. I'd rather be out sailing. I don't have time to sit around and listen to you try to figure this out on your own. Especially if you're gonna be this dumb." He said with a laugh.

"But I have a soft spot for cops. So let's cut to the chase here." He got up and went over to table against the wall. He brought the coffee pot over and filled their mugs. After he put down the carafe he went over to the window, propped it open and sat on the bench pulling out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. "Mind?" he asked.

Jane waved him off.

He lit the cigarette and blew the smoke out the window. I'm gonna take a stab here, Jane. I may be off base and that's ok. I just want to give you some things to think about, and a different way to think about some other things. He took a sip of coffee, watching Jane. She had a frown on her face, listening earnestly.

"I think this has been a crazy three or four years for you. On top of your living day to day with your life at risk, you've managed to meet and fall in love with your soul mate who just happens to be totally not what you were expecting for a life partner. So now you're in danger and you're in denial. As if that's not enough, the one person who you idolized, who was your role model, who gave you your identity, the person you felt most connected to, shared the most with, left you. Abandoned you. Did not choose you. You're in constant danger, in denial of yourself and you're not daddy's girl anymore." He took another sip, watching Jane's pain wash over her face, her body.

"You're hunkering down, Jane. Trying to protect your self. You think you won't survive being abandoned again. You're the one that gets left behind. You're so focused on watching for signs that she might leave you because you never saw it coming with your Dad. It's not your fault, Jane. "

He stubbed out his cigarette. Shut the window. Brought his coffee back over and sat in his chair. He waited.

Jane felt like she was under water. Her body felt weightless but humming. She couldn't keep her head above the water. She couldn't breathe, her chest hurt, she couldn't cry out. Her head fell back on the chair, her arms fell lifeless at her sides. After awhile she realized her face was wet, tears were pouring down her face, her nose was running; she heard her voice hoarse, cracking.

"Why…? Why did he…?" She hid her face in her hands, shaking as she sobbed.

Dix sat on the edge of the chair, leaning over the table, waiting.

"Jane, here's the thing you need to think about differently. He didn't do it to leave you behind. He has no idea what his leaving did to you. You have no problem being angry with him for what he did to your mother but you immediately resort to your not being worthy, not being good enough so that must be why he left. It's not your fault."

Jane sobbed into her hands, curling over onto her side in the chair.

After a few minutes, she began to slow down, her breathing still ragged. She sat up, wiping her face.

Dix went around to his desk, opened a drawer and took out a little blue travel pack of Kleenex. He tossed it on the table.

"Sorry," he smiled. 'That's all I got."

Jane blew her nose. Laughed. "You really don't want patients coming back."

Dix sighed, sitting back down. "Jane, look at me. I don't know everything. But I know it's not your fault. Your dad leaving."

Jane shrugged. "I know." She looked out the window into the darkness.

"Look at me Jane. It's not your fault."

Jane nodded. "I know," she said more convincingly.

He waited until she brought her eyes back to his.

"You're pushing her away before she has a chance to leave you," he said quietly. "You're not perfect Jane, but neither is she. The question is, are you perfect for each other?" He tilted his head, making her look up.

"Think about how you have described her today Jane. How deeply you care for her. How brilliant she is, how wonderful, how caring she can be with others. Why would she be with someone not worthy of her love?"

He stood up. Hands in his pockets. "All this time and energy you spend worrying that you're not good enough?" He shrugged his shoulders. "Could be put to better use. Everyday is a chance for us to learn how we can enjoy loving our partners more fully. If Maura is even half of what you have described, you are one of the luckiest bastards I've ever met. Let her in. Keep her close. Don't waste any more time. You of all people know the clock is ticking. If you're going to continue putting your life in danger, and I know you will, don't leave yourself open to regrets. You both deserve to be happy, to have a future together." He walked toward the door.

"Time's really up, Jane. I've got to go. There's a Manhattan waiting for me down at The Landing. And you gotta see about a girl."

Jane stood up, a little shaky. She reached down for her jacket, pulling it over her shoulders.

"I'm gonna make an exception in your case Jane." He handed her a scrap of lined paper with a phone number on it.

She tucked the paper in her jacket pocket. She reached out to shake hands. He looked at her hand. Looked in her eyes. "Not a shaker."

Jane frowned pulling her hand back. Dix lifted his arms, "Since we won't be seeing each other again," he smiled, hugging her.

Jane smiled and relaxed into the hug.

"How the hell do you do this?" she whispered.

"I was a cop."


	5. Chapter 5

A Winter Together Chapter 5

The parking lot was dark when she came out of the office. Jane sat for a few minutes in the car, unsure what to do next. She felt as if her whole world had shifted. She put the key in the ignition. Leaning over to look for some Kleenex in the glove compartment she found a few crumpled fast food napkins. Wiping her face, she blew her nose and stuffed them in an old Burger King bag tossing it on the passenger side floor. She flipped down her visor turning on the interior light. She was a mess. Her face looked like she'd gone several rounds; eyes puffy, mascara running down her cheeks, red nose, chapped lips, hair tangled even more than usual. Her head was pounding, probably dehydrated. She hadn't eaten since late morning when she grabbed a bagel in the café at work.

Trembling, she started the car. Blowing out a shaky breath, she turned to look before carefully pulling out of the small lot. Her arms could barely turn the steering wheel, her legs felt like jelly. Even in the dark, everything looked like it had an aura around it.

Driving slowly on the dark, icy road she looked for the ramp to the highway. She wanted to pull over and go to sleep. Maybe she should stop somewhere. It was at least a forty-five minute to an hour ride back to Boston depending on traffic.

She had told Maura before leaving for work that morning she would be late; she would be out of the office most of the afternoon. She didn't want to tell her about the appointment in case she chickened out. She hadn't told Maura about going to Susan for help because she didn't know if Susan could help her or what getting help might mean. Now she desperately wanted to be home, in her arms, telling her everything.

Finally she saw the sign for Route 1 south. She pulled into the first Dunkin Donuts drive thru she could find. She paid for her cup of coffee and pulled away from the window looking for an empty space in the lot to park.

She thought about the things Dix had said to her. Susan must have told him much more about Jane and her family situation than she had anticipated. Either that or the guy was a genius. She ran a hand through her hair with a deep sigh, fighting to keep her eyes open. She felt nauseous and sore, aching, like she was coming down with the flu. Whenever she closed her eyes she felt like she was literally falling. She shook her head, drinking more coffee. She watched the traffic rolling by. The car was starting to get cold. Picking up her cell phone she pushed a button.

"Jane?" Maura answered before the second ring.

"Hey Maura." Her voice was hoarse, scratchy.

After a moment Maura asked hesitantly, "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine. Just wanted to let you know I was on my way home." Jane couldn't get any more words out.

"OK. I just walked in myself. I thought maybe we could order in tonight." Her voice was trying for normal. As if it were a typical Friday night, they would order in, watch a movie or the ball game.

"Sounds great." Jane struggled to keep her voice from breaking.

"Chinese or do you want to try the new Indian place over by Longwood? They deliver."

"Chinese is good. Can we get Pineapple shrimp? Crab Rangoon?"

"Sure." Maura's voice was cautious. "What time do you expect to be home?"

"Should be back by 7:00."

"Drive carefully, Jane." Maura paused as if she was going to say more.

"I love you, Maura."

"I love you too, Jane." She heard a catch in Maura's voice.

Jane pushed the button to end the call. She sat up straighter in the car seat, wiped the tears from her face. She started the car and pulled out on the highway, pressing the gas pedal.

By the time she got home it was 7:15. She quietly closed the door. Put her badge and gun in the drawer. Left her phone on the table. She kicked off her boots, hung up her jacket and went into the living room. The fireplace was blazing warming the room; the Bruins game was on the TV with the sound turned down low.

Maura came in from the kitchen, a tray full of plates, cartons, a glass of wine and a bottle of beer balanced in her hands.

"You're home!" She set the tray on the coffee table in front of the couch. Turning toward her, she saw Jane's face. "Jane! What …what happened? Are you hurt?"

"No, I'm…ok," she took Maura's hands in her own. "Can we sit for a moment?"

"What is it? What's happened, Jane?" Her voice was high, tight, frightened. They sat on the couch facing each other.

"Maur, I went to see…someone…today. A therapist. Someone Susan recommended."

"Jane?" Maura's voice was soft, her eyes searching Jane's face. She squeezed her hands. "Why…why didn't you tell me?"

Jane sat back on the couch. "I was afraid I would chicken out. And then you'd be disappointed. I wasn't sure I would go through with it." She looked into the fireplace. "It was up in Marblehead. I stopped twice on the way up, almost turned around." She looked back at the table, picked up the bottle of beer, twisting off the top. She drank several mouthfuls and then relaxed back against the couch, cradling the bottle in her lap. She closed her eyes, letting her head fall back. After a few moments, she took a deep breath, turned and looked at Maura.

"I love you so much, Maura." Her voice was thick, shaking.

Maura waited, letting Jane to take her time.

"We…he…talked about stuff…that…it was hard." She hung her head, shaking it. "I feel like I've been hit by a truck." She leaned forward setting her beer on the table.

"All I know is, after we talked, I just wanted to come home. Come home to you."

Maura reached out tentatively, and then pulled her hand back, unsure if Jane wanted to be touched. She was confused. Not sure what to think or say. They had barely talked all week. Except for Monday, they had driven in to work separately, Jane claiming she would be on the road most of the week. Any time together had been mostly silent. Jane was preoccupied, aloof, withdrawn. Didn't want to touch or be touched.

"I'm relieved you're ok Jane," she finally said.

"I'm going to get some Tylenol. Can I get you anything?"

Maura shook her head. She sat back on the couch, didn't know what to think or say. Jane came back with a tumbler of ice water swallowing her pills. She set the glass down and sat on the end of the couch.

"Do you want to eat a little? It might make you feel better."

Jane picked up a carton and some chopsticks. She popped it open and pulled out a shrimp. Heaving a sigh she chewed slowly. Trying to swallow. Her throat was sore. Every movement felt like she was underwater.

Maura dished some food onto her plate, shook a napkin open on her lap. She sipped her wine, looking at Jane.

After a few bites, Jane put her carton and sticks down. She drank deeply from the water glass. Pushing everything back on the table, she leaned forward rubbing her hands up and down her thighs. Sitting back she crossed and uncrossed her arms. Rubbed her face, brushed her hair back. She let her head fall back against the couch and closed her eyes.

"You've been incredibly dedicated to me," she began softly. 

Maura put her plate and chopsticks down. Wiped her mouth with her napkin. She folded her hands in her lap, looking up at Jane.

"I've been trying to find a way to fix things." She sat up turning toward Maura.

"I know you think last weekend was your fault. I know I have been awful this whole week. I just couldn't figure out how to make things better." She looked beseeching at her.

"You're not the problem, Maur. Your background, your money, your friends are not the problem." She sighed, looking around the room for help.

"I'm in love with a brilliant, beautiful, wonderful woman who loves me despite my being an ass." She put up a hand to stop Maura from interrupting.

"You're beautiful, you love my family, and they love you. You let me move in with you even though I'm kind of a slob. We have mind-blowing sex. You make me want to be a better person. And all you have ever asked for in return is for me to love you. Be with you."

Maura looked into her eyes as Jane reached over, folding her hands over Maura's. She could see the pain in her eyes. Her lips were trembling.

"He said…I was pushing you away before you have the chance to leave me. That I'm afraid you're going to leave…like my dad… because…I'm not good enough." She pulled her hands back to her face, sobs shaking her. Maura slid over to her, wrapping her arms around her. Rocking her gently.

After a few minutes, Jane sat up, wiping her face and nose. Maura waited quietly, rubbing her back.

"He said it's not my fault, my dad leaving. He asked me…why you would be with someone not worthy of you? He said we deserve to be happy, to have a future together. He said…neither of us is perfect." Jane turned into Maura's arms, burying her head in the crook of her neck. She let out a long, shaky breath. Pulling Maura closer, she whispered into her ear, "But we might be perfect for each other."

The fire had died down. The 11 o'clock news was on. Jane was asleep under a blanket on the couch. Maura sat at one end, close enough to keep her hands on Jane's hip. She had talked for almost an hour about her session and about Dix, before crying her self out.

Maura got up to bank the fire and turn the TV off. She wanted to see if Jane would wake up long enough to go upstairs to bed where it was more comfortable. She prayed the phone would not ring tonight, that they could sleep in and take the day off tomorrow.

"Jane? Sweetheart? Do you want to go upstairs to bed?"

Groaning, Jane rolled over, blinking at the light.

"Come on, let's get you upstairs."

Jane sat up, rubbing her face. She felt lightheaded.

"Can you stand up?"

Jane stood, holding onto her arm. They headed for the stairs.

Jane stopped. "The doors…"

"I'll get them, let's get you upstairs into bed."

She sat Jane on the edge of the bed and went to her dresser to pull out a clean tee shirt and shorts.

"Bathroom." Jane yawned. She slowly walked over, closing the door behind her.

Maura went downstairs to turn out the lights and lock the doors. She carried the food tray into the kitchen putting the leftovers in the fridge and scraped her plate, putting it into the dishwasher. She used the first floor bathroom to get washed and brush her teeth and hair. There were dark circles under her eyes. Her face looked thinner. She had not slept well all week.

Bracing herself, hands splayed on the sink counter, she realized she was utterly exhausted too, from hearing Jane's painful disclosures, aching with empathy for her vulnerability.

This was a huge breakthrough for Jane, for both of them. She wanted to wash away all of her pain and shame. She knew Jane would need to find a way to do that for herself. She wiped her eyes and cleared her throat. As unhappy as she had been all week, she was so thankful that Jane had stepped up. That she had asked for help. That she had come back to her.

Upstairs she could hear the shower running. She got undressed and into her nightgown, climbed into bed pulling the duvet down on Jane's side. She turned off her light but left Jane's on.

Jane came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel. She slipped into her tee shirt and shorts, let her hair down and tossed the towel back into the bathroom. She went to get into bed and saw Maura watching her with a baleful face.

"Unnnngh, all right!" she groaned. She went back into the bedroom and hung up the towel. Marching back to bed, she slid in and pulled up the covers, reaching over to turn off the light.

"Are you ok, Jane?" she asked softly.

Jane slid over to her, wiggling an arm under her head and shoulders, pulling her in close. Leaning down she kissed her hair.

"Yeah. Thanks Maur, for being here for me. For staying…for listening to me."

Maura wrapped an arm across her waist and squeezed gently, bending her knee over Jane's leg. They lay quietly, listening to each other's breathing. Jane slowly relaxed into the warmth of Maura's arms, sleep washing over her again.

"You told him we had mind-blowing sex?"

"Out of all that, _that's_ what you heard?" Jane smiled in the dark.


	6. Chapter 6

A Winter Together Chapter 6

She opened her eyes, her face felt wet. It was light out, weak November sunlight coming through the windows. Rolling over onto her back, Jane wiped her mouth and cheek where she had drooled onto the sheets. She felt lightheaded, the room spinning for a moment. Lifting her phone off the night table she read 11:30am. Pulling back the duvet she sat up rubbing her face and pinned up her hair. She'd slept so deeply she never heard Maura get up. She knew Maura had an appointment this morning with Phil, her hairdresser. Which also meant a mani-pedicure. Maura had asked her last night if she wanted her to cancel but Jane said no. She should go; she would probably need to sleep in. She knew how much Maura enjoyed her spa days.

She stretched and ambled into the bathroom looking forward to taking a shower.

When she came downstairs there was a note on the counter in the kitchen. Maura had left for her appointment at 8:30am. She'd be back by 12. Call her when she got up. Jane set up the coffee maker to brew and called.

"Jane?" Maura's voice was loud over the speaker. Jane could hear voices in the background, music playing.

'Hi Maur. Where are you?"

"I'm just getting my nails done so you're on speaker. I should be dry in about 15 minutes. Did you sleep?"

'Yeah, slept great. Just got up and showered, having some coffee. Are you coming back after or do you want to meet for brunch?"

"I thought I would pick up some things on the way home, unless you want to go out?"

"No, I'm still a little wiped. That sounds great."

"Ok. I should be back by 12:30. Do you need anything else while I'm out?"

"Nope. I'm good. See you then. Love you."

"Love you, too," Maura said and clicked off.

Jane took her coffee with a banana and blueberry muffin into the living room looking around for her laptop. She was starving; there was no way she could wait for Maura to get home. She signed in to her email to see what she had missed since yesterday noon when she had left for her appointment in Marblehead.

There was a message early this morning from Dr. Silverman. "Call me if you need to. Sean said he thought your meeting went well but you might have questions or want to follow up."

Jane sat back on the couch and sipped her coffee. She did have questions but had no idea where to start. Physically, she still felt a little sore and achy. Emotionally, she felt light, like a huge burden had been lifted but she couldn't seem to focus, she felt like she was floating. No longer under water but on top, drifting. She picked up her cell and punched in the number.

"Susan Silverman."

"Hi Doc. It's Jane Rizzoli. Is it ok to call on a Saturday?"

"Hi Jane, how are you? Yes, that's why I emailed. I wanted to make sure you were ok. Sean said your session was intense yesterday."

"Yeah, he doesn't fool around does he? Got right to the point, with like a hammer."

"Are you ok?"

'Yeah, still feel a little bruised and I don't know, it's hard to explain. I feel ten times lighter but I'm having trouble figuring out exactly what I'm feeling. Relieved, I guess.

"Did you talk with Maura yet?"

"Yeah. She was great. I think she was shocked that I reached out. A little blindsided that I hadn't talked with her about it first, but I think we've put things in a better place. I just wish I could have figured this stuff out sooner."

"There's no manual for this Jane. No 'how to' book. No time line for when people go through challenges and life events. Everyone is different. Do you want to come in next week to chat? Do you and Maura want to meet with me together?"

"I don't know. I think we'll talk more this weekend and then see what happens. I came home last night thinking I just want her to know how much she means to me. And figure out how to, I don't know, let her love me? Does that sound weird?" Jane got up and walked around the room.

"I keep thinking about something Sean said. That Maura wouldn't be with someone who wasn't worthy. So why can't I just let her love what she loves about me. Why do I feel like I have to be more?"

"It may take some time for you both to figure that out Jane. You've had a lot thrown at you the past 24 hours. If you want to come in next week, alone or together or if you want a referral for couples counseling let me know. And Jane, Sean said he was serious about making an exception. If you want to, call him. He seemed to enjoy and I quote, "smartening you up."

Jane laughed. "Yeah, I may need to practice a bit more before that happens, but yeah, good call, Doc. He has an interesting way of getting to the point… and he was what I needed. Thanks, Susan. I'll touch base with you next week."

"Tell Maura I said hello. And tell her the Louboutin _Foresta_ boots she was looking for are on sale at Saks."

Jane laughed. "Bye Susan." She shook her head. Women.

She glanced through the rest of her inbox but didn't see anything that needed immediate attention. She checked her office voicemail but nothing seemed pressing. She heard the door open and got up to help with the groceries, stopping halfway across the room. Maura looked up at her smiling, arms around two bags as she reached back with her foot to close the door. Jane felt the breath knocked out of her.

"Hi. Are you ok?" Maura stopped, frowning, when she realized Jane was just standing there in the middle of the room.

"Yeah. Yeah! Fine, you just look…terrific!" Jane went to her a big smile on her face, leaning over to kiss her cheek, taking the bags from her arms. "How's Phil?"

"Wonderful. He and Cerise have just finished the new kitchen in their Cambridge house and they are looking to have Sophie bred for her second litter."

"Hmm," Jane looked in the bags immediately spying the bacon. "Are you hungry? Want me to start brunch?"

"Starving! I had a yogurt and fruit this morning but I could eat a horse! I don't think I had enough for dinner last night. You must be starving; you didn't eat hardly at all last night. Let me just go get changed, my clothes smell like hair spray," she said as she headed up the stairs.

Jane unpacked the bags and started the oven for the bacon. Maura insisted on baking it rather than frying it on the stove. Jane hummed and whistled softly as she moved around the kitchen. She heated up some milk for the oatmeal and pulled out a cantaloupe to cut up. It felt great to not have the all tension in the air from the past week. She set out some plates and restarted the coffee maker, smiling.

Maura came down the stairs in her lululemon tights and a loose sweatshirt, stopping to watch from the entryway. She grinned, happy to see Jane so relaxed. She sidled up behind her at the counter and slid her hands around her waist, resting her head on her back. "Love you," she murmured.

Jane put down the knife she was using to cut up the melon and wiped her hands. Turning in her arms she pulled her in for a hug, careful not to mess up her hair. "What do you have planned for this afternoon?"

"Well," she said rubbing her hands up and down her back, 'there's a sale on at Saks," a smile tugged her lips.

"You talked with Susan!"

Maura laughed, running her hands down over Jane's hips.

"She emailed me to let me know I could call her if I needed to. I think she was worried after speaking with Dr. Dix about your session. She just wanted to make sure you were ok when she didn't hear from you this morning." She brushed Jane's thick curls back from her shoulders, ran her fingers down over her arms.

"Or we could stay here and watch sports, or movies by the fireplace, maybe get caught up on…things. I feel like I haven't really had time with you all week. Besides, it's cold and raw outside. I think it might snow." Her face was beaming, as she looked sideways up at Jane.

"I think that sounds…interesting," Jane smiled. She leaned down slowly, touching her lips to Maura's, pale pink, and full. They kissed softly, holding each other gently. The oven timer beeped.

"Bacon!" Jane yelped. She grabbed the oven mitts to pull the pan out. Maura stirred the oatmeal before pouring it into big mugs and sprinkled some brown sugar on top.

They sat side by side at the counter to eat. Maura watched Jane eat, enjoying her bacon and biscuits.

"So, you talked with Susan this morning?"

"Uh-huh. She emailed. I called and we talked briefly." Jane swirled her spoon around her oatmeal. "Asked if we wanted to come in to see her next week, together." Jane licked the spoon, waiting. Maura watched her.

"Or, if we wanted, a referral for couples counseling."

"Is that what you would like, Jane?" Maura asked looking over her coffee cup. Her eyes slid away as she put the cup down.

Jane shook her head. Watching her oatmeal lump together in her mug. "I think I want to think some more about what Sean talked about. And we could maybe…talk some more?" She shrugged. Sipped her coffee, put her cup down and reached over to cover one of Maura's hands.

"I feel…different. Like I've had a weight lifted. And I have a different perspective on us. You. Me." She frowned. "It's still kind of muddled, but I do know," she stood up and moved next to Maura, "I do know that I don't want to be anywhere but here, with you. Where ever you are." She smiled, holding Maura's face in her hands. "That makes me feel good."

Standing up, Maura gently laid her slender, delicate hands on Jane's shoulders. She looked at her black velour shirt, a V-neck that contrasted with her gray sweatpants. She rose up on her toes to kiss her. "I'm glad Jane." She grinned, impishly. Because I feel really good too."

Wrapping her in a hug, Jane rocked them gently. She hummed into her hair, running her hands down over her bottom, pulling her hips closer.

"Can we move this into the living room, to the couch?" she whispered.

"Why don't you go set the fire and I'll tidy up in here? Do you want some more coffee?"

"I'm good. But I could probably do some more of those biscuits."

"Ok. I'll bring them in." She gathered up the dishes and moved to the sink.

An hour later, Jane was sound asleep curled up on the couch. The room was warm from the blazing fire casting shadows around the darkened room. Notre Dame was kicking off against Louisville, the light from the TV flickering, the sound turned down low.

Maura sat with her legs tucked under her, a blanket covering her legs, her hand lying on Jane's hip. Her other hand was holding her Kindle in her lap. She glanced over every now and then, watching Jane sleep. They had snuggled on the couch but it hadn't taken long for Jane to start yawning and eventually fall asleep. Maura stoked the fire and turned the lights off, leaving just the light on over the stove in the kitchen. She made some tea and took her Kindle in to read while Jane slept.

Inhaling sharply, Jane rolled over. 'What's the score?" She yawned, stretching her arms over her head. She swung her feet down off the couch.

"Notre Dame is up by 14. 4th quarter just started."

"What time is it?" She looked around the dark room.

"Almost six. Do you want some dinner? Pizza?"

"Naw, I feel like such a slug. Did I really sleep all afternoon?"

"How about some soup? Your mother brought over some home-made cream of mushroom this week."

"That sounds good. I'll get it you hang here. I need to get up and move around a bit." Jan went in to use the bathroom then came back to the kitchen to get dinner ready.

She brought everything out on a tray and set it down on the table. Maura had turned the channel to PBS. Moonstruck with Cher and Nicholas Cage was playing. She had put some more wood on the fire, brightening the room.

Finished with their soup, they sat back on the couch. Maura sipped her wine, snuggling into Jane's shoulder, under her arm. Jane had finished her beer and lay back, pulling the blanket up over their laps.

Jane loved the ending of the movie. She pulled Maura in closer as the credits scrolled. "I love you awful, Maura Isles," she kissed her temple. "Ready to head up?"

"Can you bank the fire and I'll clean up."

"Deal."

Jane took care of the fireplace and checked the doors. She

looked outside. She'd have to do some shoveling in the morning; there were four inches of fresh snow in the driveway. She turned on the hallway light as Maura came out of the bathroom rubbing lotion into her hands. Jane bent down lifting her up in her arms.

"Where are you taking me?" Maura laughed, holding on around her neck.

"To the bedroom," Jane said with a straight face.

Maura leaned over and kissed her cheek, whispering in her ear.

Jane laughed out loud and then giggled as she climbed the stairs. She put Maura down by the foot of the bed,

running her fingers through her blonde hair, gleaming in the soft light from the hallway. Curling it behind her ears and cupping her face, tilting it up, she looked into soft hazel eyes shining with excitement. She kissed her.

Their lips touched softly. Maura's hands held her waist. Her eyes closed, her head tilting. The tip of her tongue lightly brushed across closed lips.

Maura's hands tightened on her hips. She pressed her lips harder, eyes closed, pressing her body against Jane. Their lips moved. The tip of her tongue touched the tip of Jane's.

Jane tried to hold back a moan and failed. Her hands moved down over her shoulders as Maura's hands pulled her closer, her groin against Jane's thigh. Her lips parted, the kiss deepened.

Jane let her hands caress down her back, meeting at the base of her spine and moved lower, finding the swell of her bottom filling her hands. Maura gently circled her pussy against her thigh, rubbing sensually.

Jane's tongue explored, playfully, her mouth opened. She felt Maura tremble, her pelvis pressing into her. Sliding a hand up her side, bringing it to her front and over her shirt, Jane cupped her breast, firm and heavy in her hand. Maura leaned into her with a low moan. She reached up and grabbed her hand, fingers intertwining. Giving her hand a firm tug she started walking toward the side of the bed.

Jane brushed her blonde hair away from her neck, bent and kissed her just below her earlobe, working her way back to her lips. Maura surprised her by guiding her hand up pressing it to her breast. Jane groaned feeling her knees dip. Needing air, she broke the kiss. "Jesus, Maura."

She burst into laughter, her eyes twinkling with amusement and pleasure. "I've missed you Jane."

They moved to the bed, cuddling together, heads side by side on the pillows. Their heads moved towards each other, kissing, with tongues.

Jane caressed her hip. She felt a hand settle on the back of hers and pulled it over her hip between her thighs. Jane felt her stomach tighten. She hunched when her fingers gently brushed against the warm, silky gusset of Maura's tights.

Under the edge of her finger Maura was soft and damp. Their kiss intensified. Maura's fingers rested on her forearm. Jane pressed the edge of her fingers against her and rubbed gently. Maura murmured into her mouth.

Looking into her eyes, Jane whispered, "Jesus, I want you." Green eyes smiled back at her. "Take my clothes off?"

Jane exhaled, sitting them up on the bed. She reached for the hem of Maura's shirt, lifting it up over her head and arms.

Her fingers hooked onto the waist of her tights sliding then down over her hips and knees, pulling them all the way down over her ankles and off.

Jane's hand found her bare thigh as she brought their lips to together. Maura's hand lifted to caress her neck as they kissed.

She turned herself slightly, her knee rising so Jane could hold her warm silk panties in her palm. Her middle finger curled as she traced her cleft, bottom to top. Maura gasped, breaking the kiss, burying her face into Jane's neck.

She stroked her slit again. She felt her trembled, her pelvis twitching. Warm breath fanned against her neck. Stroking, Jane added a little more pressure.

Her hips began moving in rhythm with Jane's finger. Jane could feel her own panties getting damp, her thighs warm as she tried to rub her core on Maura's leg.

Jane pulled aside her panties. Adding even more pressure to her fingertip, pressing into the valley formed by her labia, Jane rubbed her harder, finding and stimulating her clit, and gently squeezing her mons.

"Jane," Maura breathed tremulously into her neck. Her body jerked lightly, hips twitching. She pressed her pussy into her hand and trembled, hips jerking along with almost silent little gasps. Her hand held onto her neck, her breath hot against her cheek. Gradually she slowed, then stilled, and relaxed.

Jane was breathing hard. Maura raised her face looking at her with a tender expression, her face flushed. Jane still cupped her mons in her hand, her other arm around her.

Maura slowly sat up, reaching behind to undo her bra. She shimmied out of her panties. She reached over to slip Jane's velour off over her head. She wasn't wearing a bra underneath. She lowered her sweats down over her hips. She touched the tip of her tongue to the corner of her smile as she slipped her hand down, over her now wet panties. She groaned, leaning in to run her tongue along the side of Jane's neck.

Jane kissed her. Her tongue teasing, her lips moved, mouth opening. She ended the kiss by sucking her lip and sighing with pleasure.

"You're wet," Maura said softly with a little suggestive rub.

"Yes I am."

"Mmmm, how can I help you?" she asked, smiling.

"I want you," Jane said, her hands slipping down to hold her bum.

"What do you want?" she teased, giving her panties another rub.

"Jane rolled onto her knees, straddling Maura. She gently held her breasts, cupping them, rubbing her thumbs across her nipples. She leaned over brushing her tongue across them, feeling them tighten. "They feel so full."

"I think I'm due for my period."

"Hmmm. Can I…" She looked down at her chest.

"Gentle." Maura reached under to lift her breast. Jane slowly circled the nipple with her tongue, then pulled it into her mouth, suckling. Maura hummed, closing her eyes, her head falling to the side.

"Mmmm," she murmured, rocking her hips. She reached up to hold her other breast. "That feels so good, Jane."

Jane brushed the sides of them, stroking with her fingers. She replaced Maura's hands.

She spent a few minutes tenderly licking and sucking her breasts. They were both rocking now, hips looking for contact, something to rub against.

Jane sat up, giving her wet nipples another brush with her thumbs.

Maura looked up into her warm dark eyes, trailing her fingers down along her thighs.

"Let me take care of you Jane," she whispered. "What would you like?"

Jane slipped her leg over Maura's hips so she could pull her sweats all the way off. Moving back up onto the bed she straddled Maura, sliding her wet panties over her thigh. She leaned over to kiss her lips, moving along her jaw, up her neck to her earlobe. She brushed her hair back.

"I want us to have a family." She sat up slowly, a question in her eyes.

Maura stopped rocking, her eyes searched Jane's face, watching her eyes. She saw her eyes slide away shyly.

"Jane," she said softly. She reached up to hold her face, a grin breaking out on her face.

"I want us to have kids, Maur."

Smiling, Maura brought her face down for a kiss. 'I'm ovulating Jane." She turned her head to the side, looking at the closet for a moment. "Maybe you should get…"

Jane was off the bed in a flash, opening the closet door, reaching up to pull the dark blue box down off the shelf.


	7. Chapter 7

AN: As always, thanks for following along with the story and the lovely comments. Warning: Adult Content in this chapter.

A Winter Together Chapter 7

Jane hopped around by the side of the bed pulling the straps up over one foot, then the other, up over her legs to her waist and tightened them. She opened the drawer in Maura's night table looking for the bottle of lubricant.

Propped on her elbows, Maura watched with a grin. She reached over and turned Jane's lamp on to its lowest setting.

"Can I…" she reached out a hand toward Jane. "Can I rub it on?" she asked, a smile tugging at her lips, her eyes wide. As much as she enjoyed dominant Jane in the bedroom, she wanted to slow things down a little, take their time.

Jane raised an eyebrow handing her the bottle as she walked back over to her side of the bed. She lay down next to her, reaching over to turn off the light.

"Leave it on? Please?" Maura was sitting up, squirting lube over her palms. She was biting her lip, her eyes twinkling.

Jane grinned. It appears that Maura likes to leave the lights on whenever she wears the strap-on. She settled back on the pillows, fluffing her hair.

Maura shuffled over to her side and then straddled a leg, her hands caressing the tip of the dildo. She watched Jane's face as she ran her hands up and down the shaft, seeing her eyes slowly closing, eyelashes fluttering.

Reaching lower, the back of her hand could feel how wet it was between Jane's thighs. She inhaled sharply.

"You feel so good, Jane," she murmured, her fingers tracing along the cock. With a fingertip, she pulled aside her panties and ran her fingers through Jane's labia. Jane twitched, feeling the lube warm her clit.

Maura leaned over her chest to swirl the tip of her tongue around her petite breast and nipple, smiling at Jane's gasp.

"So wet…so hard," she breathed.

Weaving her tongue around her breast, she stroked her hand up and down, alternating tugging on the dildo and pushing it down gently against her clit.

Breathing harder now, Jane ran her hands through thick, lustrous, blonde hair. Tracing her fingers along her cheeks, feeling her mouth sucking on her breast, she was groaning as her hips started rocking up into Maura's slender hand.

She reached under to hold Maura's breast, loving the warmth and weight of it in her hand. They both moaned at the wonderful feeling of pleasuring their breasts.

Maura left a delicate wet kiss on her pink nipple before sitting up to watch Jane's hips push the glistening dildo into her fist. She hummed softly watching her abs contract, one knee bent and her foot pushing into the bed. The thigh she was straddling flexed and rubbed up against her wet core. Jane's hands clutched at the sheets as she tried to keep her eyes open.

Leaning down, Maura's lips whispered against her ear, "You feel so good, Jane, so good." She kissed and sucked at her neck and traced her earlobe with the tongue, her breath coming now in soft little pants. Jane's hand was sliding up and down Maura's forearm as she stroked her.

"I need you Jane…I'm ready for you," She took a deep breath. "I want you inside me."

Jane sat up with a growl, strong arms and hands moving Maura gently underneath her. Breathing hard, she tried to keep her legs from shaking. She nudged Maura's legs apart running her hands down over her lovely breasts, her stomach, her hips and thighs. She pushed Maura's legs further apart, opening her thighs. She could see how wet she was in the soft glow of the lamplight. Sliding her hands up, she gently pulled her labia apart and leaned down to draw the tip of her tongue up through her wet cleft. Pulling the mons and hood back she flicked her hard little clit.

Maura squirmed underneath her, _"Jane…" _She tugged at her head, trying to pull her up.

Grinning at her bossy tone, she lifted herself up and over Maura, settling on her knees with a hand by her head. Her dark hair curled down over her shoulders, along her face. She held the dildo in her other hand, gently rubbing it up and down Maura's cleft, circling the tip around the outside her entrance. She let Maura's rocking establish the rhythm and pace. Despite the lube and her arousal, her vagina was tight, clenching. Gradually, the tip began to slide in a little as her vagina dilated. They both groaned with pleasure.

Rocking forward on her knees, Jane added some pressure and then eased off. She pushed again, holding still, giving her time to adjust. Another slow rock and she felt the dildo slide in.

"Yeeeessss," Maura hissed, her arms pulling her down, kissing her deeply, before breaking for air as they both panted.

"Is this okay?" Jane whispered, searching her face.

"Mmmm," Maura hummed with a smile as she rocked up onto the dildo, clenching tightly as she pulled back.

Jane lowered her body down, her knees were spread wide, her arms under Maura's shoulders, supporting her weight on her forearms and elbows. Pulling at the sheets underneath to hold her closer, to keep her from sliding up as she pushed into her. Jane's head was next to hers, panting as she thrust forward and pulled back.

Maura's legs were splayed underneath her, her hands clutching at Jane's shoulders. She pulled on her shoulders, lifting up off the bed, trying to get her hips closer to Jane's. She whispered softly in her ear, encouraging her, asking her to go deeper, harder.

Pushing up onto her forearms, she looked into Maura's eyes. Her legs burned, her chest pounded, they watched each other, mouths opened, trying for air. They were both already close.

Scratching her fingers over her shoulders and arms Maura could feel her muscles, tight as cords, rippling. Palms brushed over Jane's breasts, fingertips strumming and pinching her nipples.

Gasping, Jane squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, trying to hold back. She looked down at Maura's chest, watching her beautiful breasts moving with each thrust, wanting so much to hold them, to feel them in her mouth. They rocked together for several minutes, enjoying the feeling of the building pressure. Maura was really wet now, the dildo gliding all the way in and out. With a deep breath Jane changed the angle of her hips slightly to rub the dildo upward against the top of her vagina.

"Jane, Jane, Jane," Maura chanted through clenched teeth, her hips bucking hard, her head arched back in to the pillows. She felt a release of fluids as her vagina pulsed trying to hold the dildo as it slid in and out of her.

"Do you feel that, do you feel that…yes…yes, nnngggghhh Jane…making me come…" she was holding her breath, her voice high and tight. She held her hips up off the bed; her whole body straining, bottom clenching and then she went rigid.

"So hard, so hard, baby, you make me come so fucking hard…" she was almost crying, her fingernails digging into Jane's arms as she collapsed onto the bed, panting.

Jane grunted. _That's gonna leave a mark_, she thought. Bending her neck, Jane looked down to where they were joined. Her stomach clenched pulling up her hips even harder. Groaning she pulled back, seeing how wet the dildo was with Maura's juices, her labia stretched wide around it. She shuddered as she tried to push back in, feeling resistance. Looking up she saw Maura's head fall back on the pillow, her eyes closed, and her mouth slack.

The pressure was building in her groin, her heart racing, and her hips frantically humping now with short urgent pulses rubbing her clit harder. "Coming, Maur, I'm…coming." Jane grunted with each push, fucking her with every throb of her vagina. She tried to hold off, loving every second of this moment, the intensity overwhelming, wanting to be right here feeling this forever.

"Unnnngh," Jane finally cried out, her head falling to the sheets.

Maura pulled at her shoulders trying to get her closer, calling her name, her calves wrapped around Jane's thighs.

Bliss washed through her as she released everything she had been holding back. Shaking, she hunched a few more times; short, slower strokes, and then gently lowered her self down on top of Maura. Their breasts joined together, their bodies sweating. Jane tucked her face against her neck, warm breath huffing in and out.

"I love you," she whispered, leaving soft kisses on her neck. "I love you." Her hips sporadically rocked on their own as she came down from her climax. Maura's vagina massaged the dildo firmly inside of her, hips nestling against Jane.

She stroked her dark, tangled hair, murmuring softly, "Jane." She caressed her face, leaving little kisses. "Jane," she sighed again. They lay quietly recovering. "I love you," she tenderly kissed Jane's temple, her arms hugging her neck.

Lifting her head to look in her eyes, Jane smiled, kissing the corner of her mouth. She lifted up onto her elbows, gently pulling her hips back. Maura winced.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry hon." Jane apologized. She pushed up a little higher pulling her knees under her. As gently as she could she rocked until she could feel Maura's vagina begin to let go and she could slowly pull out. She sat back on her heels, holding the dildo up against her body, brushing her other hand over Maura's stomach and mons.

"Are you okay, sweetie?"

Maura giggled as she reached down to hold Jane's hand. "I keep forgetting you don't…afterwards…you don't…get soft." She closed her eyes and exhaled with a big smile and deep sigh of contentment.

Grinning sheepishly Jane moved her legs over to the side. Pulling apart the straps around her waist, she wiggled the strap-on down over her hips and off her ankles, dropping it on the floor beside the bed. Lying back on the bed, she tucked some pillows under her head.

Maura rolled over to her, snuggling into her arms, humming softly, her head resting on Jane's chest, a hand holding her breast.

Jane hugged her tight, exhaling slowly, her breath still shaky. The sheet and duvet felt heavy as she pulled them up over them.

She knew now. This. This was what she needed. Let Maura love her. Maura needed someone who would let _her_ in, let her love _them _and be with her. No, this was not who she had thought her soul mate would be. And this was nowhere near what she thought being in love would be like. But she couldn't imagine feeling _this_ with anyone else. Maura had chosen her just like she had chosen Maura.

She would find a way to see this smile on Maura's face every day. Love her and protect her, and remember to feel what was filling her heart right now. Because this, this was what she wanted.

"Sleep well, Maura," she kissed her forehead.

Reaching over, she turned off her lamp.


End file.
